Emmaline's Birth Story: Seven Highlights and Tips

It's been seven months, yet when I close my eyes, I can vividly remember being draped over my birthing ball (i.e. stability ball) while in the throes of labor. Even seven years from now, I'm sure I will be able to think back with striking memory to those beautiful hours of purposeful pain surrounded by my amazing birth team who cheered me on each step of the way. Above all, the Lord was my Rock and my strength. All glory to Him for orchestrating every detail and sustaining me. Here a few highlights from this incredibly life-changing experience...

39.5 weeks 

1. When are you due?

I was one of the firm believers that due dates are never right and only serve to give the desperate-to-be-comfortable pregnant women false hope. Therefore, I determined to forget the date associated with Emmaline's birth (to no success, I might add) and simply respond to everyone's questions about when she was going to be born with the safe and quite vague answer of "oh, sometime in March". 

So when the morning of "the pie in the sky" day arrived and I had my first real contractions signifying the beginning of early labor, you better believe I was put to shame. Well, not really. I was actually too focused on the overwhelming excitement knowing that Emmaline was starting to wiggle her little way into this world. Furthermore, we were in Fayetteville and my plan was to give birth in Charlotte, which was a two and a half hour drive away. This was not the time to try and prove my "babies are not born on their due date" theory. Thankfully, my contractions were slow and far enough apart to allot us plenty of time to pack up and travel to my parents house in Charlotte. Little did I know my 30 hour wonder-filled adventure had just begun...

Tip #1 Choose a hospital that is supportive of your birth preferences and has a low c-section rate. Work with a midwife if you are planning on going unmedicated or as natural as possible. 

On my beloved ball 

2. Labor-aid by the Fire

On Emmaline's presumed date of arrival, Jared and I drove to Charlotte, ate a spicy meal at a Mexican joint (which only seemed to give me heartburn and not stronger contractions), and went to my 40 week OB appointment. Much to my dismay, I was only 1 cm dilated and the baby was not engaged. I promptly instructed Jared to go to the store and buy me a whole pineapple while I downed a large amount of raspberry leaf tea and went for a brisk waddle in the neighborhood. Nothing happened...until, you guessed it, I got in bed for the night. At 10:30 pm the waves started coming and this time they were ones I could not ignore. I took out my handy dandy contraction timer app and started practicing some different coping methods. I found that leaning over the side of the bed and making low guttural sounds was very helpful in handling the peak of the contraction. After several hours of this, I woke my sister, Bethany, at 4:30 am and asked her to make me a concoction called labor-aid while I worked through contractions on my birthing ball by the cozy fire. Tiger, my parents dog, kept a watchful eye on me from his position on the couch. It was all so peaceful and surreal. She was coming! I felt things were progressing quite nicely when all of a sudden after nine and half hours of 50 second contractions every 5 minutes the clock struck 8am and my contractions disappeared...
Tip #2 Labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital to avoid unnecessary interventions and be put on the clock.  It is important to have a calm and relaxing environment and to not feel rushed. 

The drill that helped move me into transition 

3. Climbing Stairs 

Of course this is when my husband had to wake up and as sweet as he is, it was not easy convincing him that I had been in labor all night long when I seemed perfectly fine at the present moment. I suppose he had gotten used to me "crying wolf" so many times during the 3rd trimester that he just gave me a tight hug and said, "Keep trying to ignore those false labor symptoms, honey. You'll wear yourself out before it's the real deal." Now it had been perfectly fine for him to say that all those other times I had "been in labor", but this was the REAL DEAL.  We decided to hit some hills to see if we could get things moving again. At noon, the waves were back and Jared kicked into gear as the most incredible coach and comforter. During this part of labor I watched some of Anne of Green Gables with my mom and sis (while on the ball of course), took another walk with my man, got in the Jacuzzi for a bit, and well, six hours later the time and pace of each contraction had not changed. Jared suggested I try taking a nap to prepare myself for the long night ahead, but as soon as a laid down, the pain quickly became almost unbearable. I jumped out of bed. At this point I decided it was time to call upon my dear doula, Carrie-the-Great (seriously, she was the greatest doula ever). I told her I wanted longer contractions and a shorter amount of time in between them. (Okay, maybe what I really wanted was for my baby to come out. It was TIME). Carrie arrived in a flash and after applauding me for the way I was using my coping methods effectively to manage the pain, she suggested challenged me to go climb my parents staircase to see if it would help me progress. As I was innocently thinking, ok, after this next contraction, I will try to climb a few steps she proceeded to clarify that I must climb the stairs during  my contractions, not in between. As you can see, I could not have accomplished this feat without the help and encouragement of my best friend who took each step of the way with me--up and down. And well, folks, let me just tell you, less than a couple hours later my contractions were closer, longer, and stronger and we were confident it was time to go to the hospital!
Tip #3 Invest in a doula. They are worth every penny and will help keep things calm and normal for you and your husband, especially if it is your first child. Many doulas are also willing to negotiate their price, as well.

4. A Dream Come True 

Christmastime prebaby

Since my husband was a young boy, he has dreamed of driving a woman in labor (preferably his wife) to the hospital. (Now this dream may or may not have included traveling at speeds of above 100mph and overly dramatic screams of "HURRY! THE BABY IS COMING!" from the back seat, but that is besides the point.) Needless to say, at 10:30 pm on the night of March 13th, 2014, Jared's dream came true. I crawled in the back seat of our Chevy Cruze, mentally preparing myself to embrace the horrors of the next 25 minutes. My sister took the passenger seat and Jared put the pedal to the metal the flashers on. Surprisingly, my contractions, which had been consistently thirty or so seconds apart, tapered off the minute I got in the car and I only had to deal with two of them during the whole trip! This was such a blessing and quite unexpected. Jared drove so smoothly and didn't even have to go above the speed limit (much to his disappointment). We got to the hospital safe and sound and Bethany and I walked in to the lobby to get some assistance. Thankfully, it was not crowded because I had to groan pretty loudly through a couple of contractions while leaning over the front desk. It would have been embarrassing had not my sister been there to put her hand on my shoulders and whisper "just close your eyes and pretend you are still at home".  She was so comforting! We followed the nurse to our special birthing room equipped with soft lighting and a huge tub. Mom, Carrie, Jared, and Bethany were all there continuing to encourage me, but they were a bit nervous thinking that my labor may have stalled. I decided to get checked, but didn't want to know the number so that I wouldn't get discouraged. However, by the way everyone's disposition suddenly changed and huge smiles of excitement were glowing from ear to ear I concluded that I must be close to the finish line. Mom spilled the beans by suggesting that I get in the tub because "people in transition find the tub very soothing". Could it be true?!
Tip #4 Try to have a good handle on your contractions by way of practicing your coping methods before you head to the hospital. The goal is to not get frazzled in the change of environment and forget what breathing methods and positioning work best for you. 

5. Jared and the Jets

My mom and Jared giving me a pep talk

I wasn't going to argue. I had been looking forward to this moment ever since I decided on pursuing a natural birth. No, not transition, people, the tub!! The tub!! The hot water.... the massaging jets.... the temporary relief from pain.... I just knew this would be the best part of my birth experience. Scratch that. The tub was definitely not for me. I couldn't find a comfortable position, the water was lukewarm, and my dear husband accidentally turned on the wrong jet nozzles that were above the water shooting cold pressurized water at me from all directions. I screamed for the first time during labor. Then we both shared a good laugh. It definitely distracted me from the pain for a brief moment and it felt so good to laugh. Soon I was about to face the hardest part of my daughter's birth, but soon I was also about to see the precious little face that would make the struggle worth it all...
Tip #5 If you decide to use the birthing tub, make sure the jacuzzi jets are pointed down 

6. The Love in the Room and the Man behind the Curtain 

After the epic tub fail, my midwife arrived on the scene and asked me if I felt the urge to push. I did not, but I thought I would go ahead and practice different pushing positions in hopes of  igniting the urge. Unfortunately, the one position I did find the most comfortable caused Emmaline's heart rate to go down significantly, so I had to quickly move to my back. Ugh. I didn't like the feeling of being in bed, but at that point, my midwife thought it would be best. (Looking back I am so thankful she made me or she would not have been able to easily cut the umblical cord that was wrapped tightly around Emmaline's neck.) So anyway, I'll keep it short and sweet even though it was long and sweaty and the most exhausting and difficult part of the whole journey. I believe one of the reasons for this was that I did not prepare for this phase like I prepared for the rest of labor. I just assumed it would be the easiest phase and wouldn't take much concentration. Boy, was I wrong. For many of you, this may have been true, but in my case, I had to really focus on breathing in coordination with my contractions and pushing. This is truly when I lost all track of time and place. I knew that God was going to take care of me and that He was in control of that very moment. He was gracious to give me several minutes between contractions where I could actually close my eyes and sleep. I also realized no one could help me push this baby out...no one could relieve me from the race and carry me across this finish line. It was up to me to exhort enough physical energy and force to bring this baby into the world and it felt nearly impossible. However, it was simply beautiful and thrilling at the same time. I remember looking around the room at the faces I loved...my husband whispering in my ear how much he adored me....my mom squeezing my hand and praying...,my sister's smile of reassurance...my doula's calm confidence in me...and then there was the voice coming from behind the hospital curtain shouting, "C'mon Chi-chi! You can do this!" It was my Dad.  It was so special hearing him in the background cheering me on. "Here she comes! Here she comes!" My midwife caught the slippery little bundle and placed her on my chest. I was at the finish line and it was glorious!
Tip #6 Prepare to push! Read stories of how it feels...learn about the ring of fire...get an idea of how to breathe...watch educational videos...every little bit of learning could help make it easier for you!  

7. Getting Acquainted
At 4:34am on the morning of March 14th, little Emmaline Joy made it to our arms at last.

Peaceful

Giving Daddy a Hug

Sleepy Smiles
from l-r Dad, Mom, Jared, and my sister

      She was seven pounds and one ounce and had the biggest, brightest eyes you had ever seen.

After my family went home, the nurse escorted us to the room where we would try to rest for the remainder of our stay. I will never forget the feeling of being wheeled out of the birthing room down the hall with my little bundle of joy. Emotionally, I felt victorious. Physically, I felt like I had been hit by a Mac Truck.

Family pic as we transitioned to our new room

This is the look she had on her face when she came out

Spiritually, we were overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord for His provision and care.

Leaving the hospital 

Soon our little family of three was headed home.  Our life would never be the same...

Miss Emmaline Joy Decker 

Tip #7 Be sure to have snacks on hand. I was ravenous and ate several granola bars immediately after she was born. Also, have your husband be ready to do skin-to-skin in case you need to focus on delivering the after birth and recovering.